I have been promised by heads of departments of local universities that I will indeed be picked up by an elephant trunk. I cannot begin to explain how great this prospect is. Elephants are undeniably (not true) the greatest things ever to evolve out of the primordial ooze.
A few years ago I took
a tour of the fire station at the reservation where I work. In the process, I got to take the fire pole from upstairs to the fire engine. It was August in Southern California, somewhere between the lush coastal area and the dry cracked desert, so consequently it was very warm and my arms stuck to the pole and squeaked and hissed all the way down to the bottom. My arms were red and in pain, but damnit I RODE THE FIRE POLE!I used to play in a band. My friend Ron was the drummer. Ron has his own waste management business and one winter on the way to rehearsal, Ron let me stand on the back of the garbage truck as he drove from the country road, down his miles-long driveway to his house/our rehearsal space. I rode on the back of the goddamn GARBAGE TRUCK!
So, three childhood dreams will have been accomplished soon.
I found out that I am taller than the maximum height limit for the space shuttle, so I guess I will not become an astronaut at any point in my life. I can only hope that I will one day become a professional baseball player or He-Man.
B
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